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Insomnia.
Credit to Furby....to inspired me to create a livejournal. I think the world needs a written account of what I say in case they weren't listening the first 50 times.
For some reason, I can't sleep.
I am an eternal worrier, I worry about EVERYTHING, from money, to the future, to my weight, and some evenings it just snowballs to the point where I can't sleep. So now, I am wide awake and online like a total geek, at least I am not playing warcraft though.
"She" called me, again, and I don't want to hear it. She came to me as a friend, and I embraced her as such, but in the end I realized the person I knew was a complete fabrication, and to preserve her world of lies she had to keep me, (one of the few who have pieced together the inaccuracies) at bay by lying...about ME!. It hurt, then I had some dinner, had some drinks, and met up with some friends and put on my big girl panties and dealt with it. Whatev.
Lately I feel like the world is a hungry pack of wolves and I am that slow deer who is asking the rest of the herd "hey guys, where are you off too in such a hurry?". After the whole incident at the beach (the guy who kept on hitting on me then tried to force me into his van) my sense of security is shaken. I go for a walk and get cat-called, or have complete odd-balls approach me with their most expensive disgusting body spray that they think masks the smell of not showering. I apparantly can't go to the beach alone, or even go for a walk alone. So perhaps I should just live in a cabin in the woods because I would be safer among wildlife than I would be in "civilized" society. I need a gun, or atleast long ghetto nails.
My friend from Toronto who I haven't met called me aswell. I guess you could say "online friend" but that just sounds loser-ish. He and I have been chatting for ages, and wanting eachother for ages. I feel an odd connection to him that somehow goes beyond lust. I have distanced myself a bit, because I have to remember that (men=hurt) but he is extremely appealing to me. I am scared though....what if we meet and he thinks I am fat, or even worse....Christian. Anyway...
Speaking of Christians, they need to stop trying to "save" me. The only time I want to be saved is if there is a fire, and I am stuck inside and an incredibly hot fireman comes in to help me.
Note to the leaflet leavers: The only Jesus I know is a Mexican fruitpicker, and Buddha is my Om boy. Thankyou,,,now save your papers.
Speaking of fat, my diet contains 0% bad fats. I have gone vegan again. For those carnivores who are confused that means no animal products (dairy, meat, eggs, etc.) I have also decided to only eat whole grains and wheat and avoid sugar as much as possible. Realisitically, I am eating like a rabbit and hoping to end up sleek like a gazelle...After four days of going vegan I actually feel great...my health conditions have improved so that's fab. My fave food ever though is fried avacado sandwiches....MON DIEU!!! they are to die for......I hope this works,...I want to be so skinny I can hide in a stack of papers like a tanned, perfumed specialty product.
tiredFor some reason, I can't sleep.
I am an eternal worrier, I worry about EVERYTHING, from money, to the future, to my weight, and some evenings it just snowballs to the point where I can't sleep. So now, I am wide awake and online like a total geek, at least I am not playing warcraft though.
"She" called me, again, and I don't want to hear it. She came to me as a friend, and I embraced her as such, but in the end I realized the person I knew was a complete fabrication, and to preserve her world of lies she had to keep me, (one of the few who have pieced together the inaccuracies) at bay by lying...about ME!. It hurt, then I had some dinner, had some drinks, and met up with some friends and put on my big girl panties and dealt with it. Whatev.
Lately I feel like the world is a hungry pack of wolves and I am that slow deer who is asking the rest of the herd "hey guys, where are you off too in such a hurry?". After the whole incident at the beach (the guy who kept on hitting on me then tried to force me into his van) my sense of security is shaken. I go for a walk and get cat-called, or have complete odd-balls approach me with their most expensive disgusting body spray that they think masks the smell of not showering. I apparantly can't go to the beach alone, or even go for a walk alone. So perhaps I should just live in a cabin in the woods because I would be safer among wildlife than I would be in "civilized" society. I need a gun, or atleast long ghetto nails.
My friend from Toronto who I haven't met called me aswell. I guess you could say "online friend" but that just sounds loser-ish. He and I have been chatting for ages, and wanting eachother for ages. I feel an odd connection to him that somehow goes beyond lust. I have distanced myself a bit, because I have to remember that (men=hurt) but he is extremely appealing to me. I am scared though....what if we meet and he thinks I am fat, or even worse....Christian. Anyway...
Speaking of Christians, they need to stop trying to "save" me. The only time I want to be saved is if there is a fire, and I am stuck inside and an incredibly hot fireman comes in to help me.
Note to the leaflet leavers: The only Jesus I know is a Mexican fruitpicker, and Buddha is my Om boy. Thankyou,,,now save your papers.
Speaking of fat, my diet contains 0% bad fats. I have gone vegan again. For those carnivores who are confused that means no animal products (dairy, meat, eggs, etc.) I have also decided to only eat whole grains and wheat and avoid sugar as much as possible. Realisitically, I am eating like a rabbit and hoping to end up sleek like a gazelle...After four days of going vegan I actually feel great...my health conditions have improved so that's fab. My fave food ever though is fried avacado sandwiches....MON DIEU!!! they are to die for......I hope this works,...I want to be so skinny I can hide in a stack of papers like a tanned, perfumed specialty product.